Expressing the Inexpressible Part 2

Trent's Eye

After “talking to someone on the blogs I decided to try an experiment.  I wanted to write poem to express the inexpressible.  It is possible some of my poems had done this,but this was the only time I sat down with this odd goal in mind.  What I tried to do is increase the rhythm of the poem with the intensity of the words, to build the feeling as the poem built.  You can read “When I Think of You” to decide if I succeeded.

So on Thursday I wrote a post about poetry being able to express the inexpressible, to say things for which no words exist.  Of course I fell flat.  The only way I could think of doing it is by showing examples and maybe two or three people looked at the examples.  It isn’t a new idea,of course.  We express ourselves in poems and others can relate to that expression.  I ended the post by saying i should try the same thing in prose.  So, of course I did.  Try, that is.

Friday (this morning) I posted a short story that was an attempt to express some of the same things that I expressed in the poem from earlier in the week.  Of course I cheated by using some of the same metaphors and same language, but that was part of the idea of poetry post: I started writing poetry so I could use the tool set poetry creates into my prose.

Here are a few things I learned.  I think the poem works better in some ways because I could shape the rhythm and the intensity better.  Yes, I could with the prose too, but doing too much of the shaping would come across a little strange.  Poems are usually more immediate.  In this poem I used “you” and “I”.  I did the story in third person, so it lost a lot of immediacy.  It wasn’t as personal.  I could, of course, have written it in first person, but it still would have lacked the “you”.  Using “you” would have stuck out and have been funny.

On the other hand, I was able to bring action into the story.  The main character did things that showed the emotion.  Of course this showed you the emotion, it didn’t make you experience it the way a good poem can, but it was able to define it very clearly in the action.

So which do you prefer, how I handled it in the poem or in the story, Alyssa?

7 thoughts on “Expressing the Inexpressible Part 2

  1. Pingback: If We Were Having Coffee on the Tenth of September | Trent's World (the Blog)

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