An ominous place
Walking in the bleak valley
Looking for a ray
Always trying to flee night
Searching for a bright lit day
The gloom holds me back
Shadows grabbing at my arms
A pit of gloom here
Pulled by an airy promise
A better place bright and clear
***
Written for Colleen’s Poetry Challenge. Each week she gives us two keywords, only we must use synonyms only, not the words themselves. This week the key words were “Light” and “Dark” This week I decided to do a Tanka, perhaps a double tanka, if such a beast exists….
I enjoyed both – the first stanza more –
and read them both a few times – really good stuff dear poet
in my mind I took the “the” off of gloom in the second stanza and could not decide if I liked it more –
this was one way I “saw” it
Gloom holding me back
Shadows grabbing at my arms
A pit of gloom here
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Thanks, Y. Your word change works well, though I just realized that I used “gloom” twice in a row! Oh well, I wrote this very rapidly…
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Well done, Trent. I love the shadows pulling at your arms… yikes! Your double tanka was full of fear! :D
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Thanks, Colleen. Well, you did say “dark”, so…. of course, you also said “light”, that’s why it’s hope :)
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I love it! ❤️
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Always fun when you start with opposites :)
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There were so many different synonyms too – not just the obvious ones. :D
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There are quite a few since both words have so many meanings. I could have talked about how my hair changed from dark to light ;)
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Ha, Ha, Ha… I could write volumes about that myself. Too funny! :D
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Great poem, Trent :)
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Thanks!
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A fabulous poem, Trent.
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Thanks, Robbie :)
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This is stunning Trent , the words beautiful and the photo matches perfectly.💜
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Thanks, Willow :)
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💜😃
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Beautiful, Trent. I really do like this. I’m especially touched by two of the lines: “Always trying to flee night” and “Pulled by an airy promise.” Very provocative imagery.
This challenge sounds like fun. I’ll have to check it out.
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P. S. Your photo is amazing as well.
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Thanks. I like the “coming out of a cave” feel of it and thought it fit the poem.
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Thanks, Sandra. I do like Colleen’s challenges and there are always a lot of very good poets that participate. You should check it out :)
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This is excellent–I really like “shadows grabbing at my arms”, because that’s the way it feels…sometimes even a choke-hold.
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Thanks. I’m lucky in that I don’t have to experience that feeling very often, but, yeah, it can be like that….
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It’s good that you can write about it without having to experience it.
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I’ve experienced it, just not often (or all of the time) like some I know….
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Actually, if we’re gifted with empathy, we needn’t have every experience to write about them.
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That is true. With empathy we can share a little in the experiences of others and take some of that burden on ourselves.
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Yes, Sir!
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