
PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson
The distinctive marks of Shel’s form of locomotion was frozen into the snow – step-drag, step-drag. He grimaced. They’d follow that, for sure. He massaged his leg, knowing it would do no good. Time to move forward.
Moth-like, Shel stayed focused on the light half glimpsed between the trees. The sky ahead was glowing orange: civilization.
The trees ended in a park at the edge of a sleepy slice of suburbia.
He had to risk the open since the hard-packed snow would hide his tracks.
He was blinded as he reached the road.
“Freeze! On the ground, now! We’ll shoot!”
Caught!
***
Word count = 100
Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week’s prompt is here and uses a photo © Dale Rogerson. Read more or join in by following the InLinkz “linky“
And he was so close!
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Yep. Or at least he thought he was…
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Yuu pulled us right into the middle of the action, leaving us wondering if he is a wrongfully accused or not. Either way we were rooting for him in some way.
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Wrongly accused, escaping for a repressive regime, etc. – could be any of those or that he is a nasty fellow ;) Thanks – that is what I was shooting for – to make him sympathetic, even if there was the possibility he is a bad guy.
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Aw, I was rooting for him. Course, he might be a nasty criminal!
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Thanks, that means I succeeded. I wanted the reader to have sympathy for him without thinking too much of why he was on the run….
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Yes, you brought us right into what he was feeling… I’m thinking maybe it’s not so bad that he is caught! Gat thet leg looked at and warm his body up.
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It might not be so bad, but I guess it depends on who “they” are… Thanks, Dale.
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There is that…
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At least he’ll have a warm bed tonight.
Good story.
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Yes, a warm bed and hopefully someone to look at his leg. Thanks.
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Well penned didn’t expect the ending.
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Thanks. Unless he had some prelanned help, I don’t think he was going to make it very far on the run.
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Nicely constructed story that builds to a satisfying conclusion.
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Thanks.
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Excellent writing. “Sleepy slice of suburbia”–alliteration always makes a strong point :)
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Thanks. Sometimes those little alliterations just slip off my tongue, even when that “tongue” is in my mind :)
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On the run is hard work – stay away from civilisation unless you are hidden in the crowd. A story that shows his fear, and we know nothing of who he is or why – a continuation left to the reader.
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I think he was doomed to be caught no matter what… Thanks. i think this was a case where being a bit ambiguous was best, even if I had another 50 words…
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An intriguing tale which allows us to interpret it as we wish! Nice one Trent.
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Thanks, Keith!
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Yes indeed Trent an excellent twist 💜
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Thanks, Willow :)
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💜💜
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Nicely done, I guess he’s been shot, good ending
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Shot or he broke the leg climbing over a wall or… (I’ll admit that if I had more words I would have said something about the crimson spots in the snow…) Thanks.
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It’s for the reader to imagine I guess, good job all round
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Thanks.
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If he’s a bad guy, good. If he’s a good guy, bad. I like your description of how he locomotes and the track he leaves.
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I tried to leave it ambiguous if he is good or bad, but I also wanted you to feel some sympathy, so there is that, oops, what if he is a bad guy… Thanks.
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:) I like it when the reader is left room to choose.
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… a lesson I sometimes need to remember on my longer fiction….
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Very nice. Didn’t expect that ending
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Thanks, Lane. I often try for a twist on these 100 words stories, though this one wasn’t a twist as much as not the happy ending we wanted. (Unless Shel was a very bad man ;) )
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Dear Trent,
I felt it all. His pain. The mounting tension and bone-chilling cold. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle.
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