Ah, here comes a gullible looking lass. I’m sure I can twist her to exactly where I need her.
“Good morning, ma’am! I can tell that under that homespun and calico there lies a sophisticated lady. Now if you had a little cash, I can help…”
Those suspicious eyes, how they taunt me!
“No, my good madam, I am not talking about your physical self. No,no, no, dear me, no. I am not proposing anything improper at all and apologize with deepest sincerity if you thought such an evil thing.” A deep bow usually helps. Oh, how that gets their attention every time. A woman like her has never had a gentleman bow to her! It makes her feel like a queen, now, doesn’t it? “No, my good lady, I am talking about that fine character you have made so plain just now! Your virtue shines like a thousand suns for those who can see!” I fade my smile a bit and shake my head in sadness. Ha! “But I fear that many look at the rough fabrics you drape yourself in and cannot see. Such a shame”
Good, good! She is still suspicious, of course, but it has changed. Flattery will get you everywhere. As will sympathy.
“Are you some sly tailor trying to get me to buy your wares on credit? The answer is no.”
Oh, the indignity to be called a tailor! Ha! I pull back, shocked at such a charge, though inwardly I am smiling. I have her!
“No, no, I assure you, that is not the case. You see, I have a special gift for you!”
She sniffs. Good.
“A gift? What kind of gift would the likes of you give the likes of me?”
“What indeed? Well, one to make you a true lady on the outside as you are on the inside, of course! I have this here money tree…”
“…and I no longer need it, you see. So I am passing it on to someone who is worthy. And that, my good lady, is you.”
“A money tree? I’ve never heard of such a thing! What, does it bear silver fruit or something as silly?”
Yes, she is laughing, but she hasn’t left, which means she is interested. Oh, my dear lass, I am reading you as easy as a book!
“Silver or gold fruit? Don’t be ridiculous.” I soften my sneer a little and glance around, as if to make sure nobody else can hear. I lower my voice. “Well, they have been known to on occasion, but it is rare, very rare. No, they make the owners lucky. The owner will find money, be given money, win money and find new ways to earn money. The more they have sacrificed the more money comes in. And it does pour in.”
I jingle the oversized purse I am carrying, and pop out a gold coin for a quick show before pushing it back in. She doesn’t need to know that the coin isn’t real gold, nor that there are only a few coppers in there, along with some flat stones to give it heft.
She stares at the plant. I have her now! Come on, lassie, ask that question I am waiting for. Come on!
“Of course! You don’t get something for nothing! The more a new owner gives up, that is, the more they sow, the more they will reap, that is the more money will flow in. And, believe me, it will.”
That crinkled nose makes you look like a pig, my dear, but I will continue to smile and act like you are beautiful.
“I thought you said it was a gift.”
OK, time for that expression reserved for explaining the very simple to someone even more simple.
“It is a gift, my lady. I am giving you riches beyond your wildest dreams because you are so, so deserving. But to gain something, you always have to give something up. Have you never been in church? Have you never heard that lesson?”
“How much?” She is shaking her head, but it is at herself, not me. I have her, hook, line and sinker!
“How much do you have?”
Fumble as long as you want, dear sow, just make sure you show me everything.
“I don’t think I have…”
Such a lovely sight, those seven shiny coppers gracing her dirty hands!
“Seven coppers should do it…”
“But I need at least four to buy…”
“Shush, shush, shush. Don’t worry about losing these coppers! You will soon be rolling in silver and gold!” Another jingle of my oversized purse should do the trick. “Coppers, bah!” I know my sour look works ever time.
Oh, such a big sigh from such a little lass, but she is handing me the coppers.
I have to watch closely as she leaves, just to be sure. And… yes, she saw that copper I had hidden earlier! Ha! Now she believes! Act surprised as you wave to her, now… Great. Watch how she walks away…
And what do we have here? Oh, this lad is a complete simpleton if I ever saw one! And that cow, that beautiful cow. Old, yes, but… Hmm, I bet I can get at least a silver for it, maybe more, much much more, if I find the right story and the right person. But how do I relive Mr. Jack Simpleton from his cow?
Ah-ha, those beans! I got it. They are now not just beans, they are magic beans. Right, so here we go.
“Hi fine sir! No, no, you sir, I am talking to you! Yes, you. Come here, my fine sir.”
“Me, Gov’na? What’s the likes of you’s wants with the likes of me’s, s’r?”
Oh, this one will be even easier than the lass.
This was written for the #writephoto challenge. This is now run by KL Caley. She provided the photo at the top and the keyword, “Money Tree”.