
><
*
time
space
travel
distant worlds
rocket to the moon
leaving the lonely Earth behind
my world dissolves into vacuum when you are not here
?
vast
void
vacuum
infinite
can life be out there
Earth alone in thee universe
is this the one oasis or is it the desert
***
This was written for Colleen’s weekly poetry challenge. This week were were to create our own syllabic poetry form. I call mine the “Dark Fib”. It is based on the Fibonacci numbers (sequence), taking the first eight numbers as so: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13. The “zero” is to be a symbol or punctuation mark that defines the poem. The next six lines should be about math, science (i.e. here it is space) or technology. The last line is 13, unlucky, so should be a dark statement about love, life, etc., that is something more down to Earth, more human. It just needs to be dark. The above is two different poems of the form, but somewhat connected in these.
Trent – I really like how that last line makes all the science’y lines before seems metaphorical! Well done, Sir :-)
-David
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Yep, that is the “Dark Fib”, takign all of those nerdy things and showing that they were really metaphors. Thanks!
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Pingback: #TankaTuesday #Poetry Stars No. 264 | #CreateYourOwnForm – Word Craft: Prose & Poetry
I love how creative you were with this, Trent. A great response to the challenge.
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Thanks, Diana. It was fun to come up with something, and the “zero” only stumped me for a moment.
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That was very creative. :-)
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I like the poem. Nice write, Trent!
Then I read the thing about the sequence. 😳 I still like your poem! 😉
Thank you!
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What can I say, I’m a math nerd. lol. Thanks, Resa!
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Hahaha!
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I love how you interjected some science into your poetry by basing this form around the Fibonacci sequence. It’s quite brilliant. The zero syllable with a symbol or punctuation mark really makes this form seem “new” age. <3
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Thanks, Colleen! Glad you liked my new form, and the poems I made with it. With the requirement that it has to have math, science or technology, maybe I should have called it “Dark Nerd” instead of “Dark Fib”. Nah, I think I like the title ;) I looked at that “0” for just a second before that “aha” moment on how I could write zero syllables.
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I think it was a stroke of genius! Great job, Trent!
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Thanks, Colleen :)
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Both clever and effective. (K)
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Thanks.
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Your Fibs are gorgeously put together. The adding of punctuations is a creative thing I admired in these poems. Well presented. Impactful. Love them. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks :)
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Very cool, Trent! I love the idea of incorporating symbols. Both poems are expressed beautifully. :-)
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I stopped for just a second to wonder about “zero syllable words” when the idea struck me… Thanks :)
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They both fit so well
Together and yet stand alone too – – the first one haf a depth and more lonely vibe and the second one went into the cosmic pondering -// hmmm
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Thanks, Yvette. With the second, I was thinking that the depressed poet (not me) felt separated from the life around him/her, so the question wasn’t “is there life out there?” but “is there life down here?” (Again, I’m channeling my inner darkness, I am not feeling this way now :) )
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Oh that makes sense for the second one but I took It the other way at first
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I’ve been told that if everyone interpreted a poem the same way, I was doing something wrong ;) lol. Not sure if that is entirely true, but getting the reader involved is to be desired.
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Oh I think I agree with that statement – and a poem that can illicit different ideas and feelings is a gem – and your ongoing writing helps you really hone this craft
And again – this post was nice in the way the two fit together yet could really stand alone.
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All of these challenges really help gain/hone those skills :) Thanks, Yvette.
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Yes – my three years of flash fiction challenges really helped me with using less words.
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Practice might never make perfect, but it does help develop skills :)
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Yes it sure does
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Wicked good!
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Thanks, Shannon!
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I love the idea of basing this around the Fibonacci sequence. I feel like that works really well for the structure of a poem.
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Thanks. I’m a math nerd, so inventing my own form, I had to do something like his. One issue is that it can get big pretty quick… But limiting the number of liens works.
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I like this one Trent it’s very clever 💜💜
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Thanks, Willow :)
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Always a pleasure 💜
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Yeah I happened to see that poem on Colleeen’s blog. Right now, the questions on earth (Ukraine) keep me being preoccupied. But the sky on my blog post this week is my smile:)
http://livingbetweentworealms/wordpress.com
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Yep , Ukraine is the biggest question on Earth now… I’ll be by in a bit.
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I can’t reach the site. I think there might be typo in the url pasted here.
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Excellent, Trent! 💕🙂
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Thanks!
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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